patience.
- cerfpve
- Feb 11, 2022
- 3 min read
Do you understand how immensely frustrating it is being both fiercely impatient as well as catatonically lazy? Life is nightmarish at best even without being one of the select few unfortunate enough to be gripped by this almost oxymoronic personality trait. You will spend the vast majority of your day in some form of stationary position but the minute you have to move somewhere – ugh, moving – the world around you simply isn’t going fast enough. It is truly exhausting spending the best part of 30 minutes staring into a barren fridge convincing yourself you don’t need to go to the shop to then be trapped behind someone who clearly has no idea how self-service checkouts work. It honestly feels like my impatient behaviour is just a consequence born from the frustration I feel having to actually do something.
One of the most common instances where my impatience and laziness clash like two titans is when I am walking around a city or busy town shopping for specific items; honestly, how slow do people want to walk, are you there for a specific reason? If not please go home, decide what it is you need to buy, then come back and shop directly for those items and only those items. I don’t care if you want a new top; if you own 7 already then you don’t need one and you can just sit there and deal with it - or at the very least make sure you go out when I am back on my sofa. It is times like these where I am both thankful for online shopping, but also overwhelmingly annoyed by the lack of sizes available to me over the Internet which has in turn forced my hand into ignoring the advancement in tech and get the clothes from the shop. I have come to the conclusion that one day I am going to die, probably, but I sure as Hell am not going to go peacefully when I remember all those times a family of 43 blockaded me in a thin shopping street because they have no concept of single-file - as a consequence this meant I missed out on another precious 20 minutes of doing nothing: for your own safety please refrain from doing this and learn a little bit of street etiquette. I swear there is a strong possibility that I will, at some point, spend time inside for the rash and impulsive murder of a retired mum who decided to use the ATM three separate times as well as print a receipt (honestly, what is even the point of those?) after I politely let her go in front of me. Was this my own fault for trying to maintain a semblance of chivalry? Yes, yes it fucking was.
I can’t even put a finger on why it is I’m so impatient because it completely voids my statement of being dreadfully lazy, doesn’t it? It is almost like I am racing from one lazy situation to the next but in between that I have to traverse through the daily chore of waiting for other people. You would think lazy people would be patient as a natural by-product from their lack of want for doing anything at all, instead looking to exert the least amount of energy and effort when confronted with the dreaded “doing stuff”. Me? No, no, it is a balls to the wall rush job to finish whatever it is I’m doing so I can recede back to a more natural horizontal position. I will be honest I’m absolutely knackered now just from typing this rant because I’m battling a want to write it versus a want to sit here and not think/move/breathe. If you think your life is tiring try and empathise with me for a change – my brain needs its own bed. Now, off for a battle of wills with a microwave that I am fairly confident has its very own concept of time.

Comentarios